What Can Never Be
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Spoilers: What Is and What Should Never Be
Previous Chapter

"You're crazy."

Dean threw his brother a quick glare before he returned to his work, his books on occult and myths and magic; all the stuff he had complied over the months he had spent searching for his baby brother.

"No really, I mean, crazier than normal which for a normal person would be enough to lock you up. Does Carmen know about this little hobby of yours?" Sam asked, watching as his pale skinned brother - the boy who used to steel his dates and mock him publically at school. The same brother than had changed drastically in the last year - it had started literally over night, suddenly Dean had been totally family orientated and obsessed with 'fixing' things between him and Sam. What he didn't get was that Sam was fine with his relationship with his brother. Yes they weren't that close, but they were different people so it was to be expected. Sam loved learning new things, he loved school, and law, and boundaries and normality. Dean loved cars and - until Carmen - fast women and breaking the rules. Age had mellowed him but he had been 'Most likely to end up with a criminal record" when leaving school. Sam had been "Most likely to get married before the age of twenty-five". Of course, both ended up being true but Dean's record was for juvenile crimes like grafetti and that time he smoked pot. Eventually Dean had given up on actively fixing them but still, now and again - like today - he would get a call with an over-excited Dean just babbling nonsense like him and telling him to get his butt to his place.

"No, you're crazy. You just don't know it." Dean muttered back at him.

Sam snorted and rolled his eyes. "Whatever man. When can I go?"

DEan did stop his... well, whatever he was doing then. He stopped and looked up at his brother with clear greeny eyes and said, "dude, this isn't detention. You don't have to ask my permission for a hall pass. You need to go pick up Jessica from the hair salon or buy some groceries then don't let me stop you." Dean said and while these - to Sam - were regular life events, he heard a tone of mockery on Dean's voice that rankled a little.

"No, man. I'm free. My only lecture of the day is over and Jess is having lunch with her mom. Where is Carmen?"

"Working. Children's Ward. Won't be home until eight. Will pick up food on the way." Dean said like reciting an answer machine message that he had listened to too much. Knowing Dean the little he did he was guessing that was the truth of the matter. It was true; Dean had listened to that message until it hard worn thin, looking for hidden meaning in his girlfriend's words.

"Children's Ward. YOu know what that means." Sam said meaningfully.

"No, I don't." Dean bit back.

"She's getting broody, Dean. And she is feeling neglected." Sam inparted his wisdom to his older brother who just glared.

"Look, Sam, keep your amature relationship councelling to yourself. And if she is getting broody then it's your fault; you and Jess with your damn cute little baby." Dean said, no malice behind his words.

"Whatever man, I didn't come here to argue." Sam said, getting up and grabbing his jacket.

"Where are you going!" Dean asked.

"To Dad's grave. You wanna join me?" Sam offered, knowing he would be refused - but not knowing was that the reason was that Dean was mourning a different man than Sam was. Sam was mourning for the basket ball player dad who had always been there for them and taught them how to catch a ball and fly a kite. Dean was mourning for the expert hunter who had raised him to stay alive and keep Sammy safe, guns and legends and violence and blood, that had been John Winchetser's legacy in the world that Dean had come from. Well, that and the fucked up relationship between Sam and Dean.

Dean gave him a pained look and shook his head, no bothering to watch as Sam walked out of the door and drove off.

"Are you ever going to talk to me?" Sammy's voice came from behind Dean. He tensed, and took a deep breath but looked behind him anyway. There he was. THe one thing he had wanted more than anything else in the world, but now he had him he didn't knwo what to do.

"Sam," Dean said to his brother, his real brother who he had grown up with. He wasn't sure how or why but mere hours after Sam's voice had given him new hope, Sammy himself had turned up. Sam refusd to talk about it, and Dean had so far refused to talk to him.

"I don't know Sammy. I wanted you for so long but not like this."

"Not like what?" Sam asked, folding his arms against his large upper body and leaning in the doorway of Dean's bedroom like a demon sent to tempt him - and to be honest if anyone could tempt him to Hell it would be Sammy.

"It was supposed to be home, Sam. We were supposed to be back at home, no mom or dad or other you to confuse us to hell. They don't deserve this. They do not deserve to get dragged into a mess of demons and spirits and death. How are we supposed to hide you from them - and if they find you, what are we gonna do? Tell them the truth? They'll lock me up and explain you as some freeky doppleganger coincidence. God. How do we get home, Sammy?" Dean asked.

Sammy looked lost, like he wanted to heal all of Dean's wounds but didn't know where to start. SO he simply pulled Dean towards him and enveloped him in a hug that smelt of nothing but Sammy-and-Dean. "You are my home," Sammy whispered in Dean's ear and closing his eyes tightly against threatning tears Dean pulled his brother closer.

xx TBC - PLEASE COMMENT

Thanks for previous comments. I dedicate this chapter to little5150d who has pneumonia and who has commented on pretty much all my SPN stories so thank you!